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The Worst Thing About Losing Someone Right Now (2020)

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The Worst Thing About Losing Someone Right Now (2020)   You know what the worst thing about losing someone right now is? Amidst a global pandemic! And yes, that should have sounded to you exactly how scary it felt for me to say it. No, it’s not you being not able to say goodbye, it’s not them dying alone, it’s not them having no funeral, dying before their time, or being thrown in a ditch somewhere without a family burial. It is never knowing if you are the one that killed them. It does not really matter because your subconscious will take a toll on you regardless. And what greater pain than to know it was you who ended your beloved. And not in a tragic Romeo and Juliet kind of way.   But in a homicide kind of way..                     in an undoable kind of way..                 ...
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Deflection

Deflection   I exited my aunts minivan; I took on new soil, yet it all seemed to be the same. Being dropped off by loved ones in a new state, following old classmates solely because they were familiar, I was about to make a huge mistake. I no longer felt a part of this Christian atmosphere. Being constantly scrutinized for my sexuality, why did I apply to this religious University? Why did I continue the same pattern which repeatedly hurt me? Being a teenager and fresh out of high school, I still had shit to figure out. I certainly wouldn’t accomplish any of this stuff here where I would be receiving fines and threats to be kicked out of school if I skipped a worship service. I reached a point in my life where I needed to reevaluate. I reached a point where Praying to me, no longer seems to be an option. Praying to me, seems like a fools errand. Praying to me, seems worthless. Praying to me, seems like a waste of time. Praying to me, seems idiotic. Praying to me, ...
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Lineage

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LINEAGE            A King Assertive Dominant and a Protective Leader Courageous Strong Loving Kind and Curious the world doesn’t see that I Am and don’t try to convince me that this is false because I Am too aggressive or too dark My Character is assumed before I Walk through the door and you’ll never in a million years hear Me Say that they won’t judge This book by It’s Cover their assumption creates and induces My Perception there is no doubt about it you don’t have the power to convince me otherwise It is not in our capability to leave a legacy behind so you’ll never hear Me Say that amounting to nothing is My Foreseen Destiny no longer can I Say that I Am Worth It   (Now Read From Bottom to Top)                  
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